Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Similar Schedules

Several times recently I've attempted to make plans with some of my girlfriends who are new mothers. It's worked a couple times, but more often it hasn't. In part this is because infants, no matter how Type A you are, really try their darndest not to be schedulized. Inlaws are also occasionally difficult to schedulize, as are various other friends and relatives of the bouncy new babe. Clearly, these moms have a lot of personnel to manage. However, possibly the greater part of the trouble following through on get-togethers is my own obvious inability to schedulize my own life. It seems that people going through cancer recovery can be about as rock solid on plans as can parents of new babies, which is to say, really not at all.

I do like all these people I've been trying to meet up with, and I am, without exception, looking forward to the events we have planned (hint: most of them involve shopping). But sometimes, even still, after about two months without the worst of the worst, i.e. chemotherapy, I can't get to sleep until 3 am and so, to approach my 9-hour preferred minimum, I sleep until at least 10. And then I have to call and cancel brunch. There are also various ailments that crop up at various times, both physical and psychological. Today I was lucky in that the changes were not entirely my fault—my niece didn't go down for her nap until about the time I was planning to leave home to meet them . . . but right around the same time I had a migraine which turned, annoyingly, into a second migraine (after my own nap), and so, after all, I had to cancel what would've been merely delayed.

All of this gives me an acute sense of forgiveness and understanding for people who have to change plans or cancel them, even at the last minute. So far everyone has been treating me the same, which I do appreciate. I really wish I could make an appointment and know I can stick with it . . . but I guess, as illustrated by that metaphorical bus that could kill us all at any moment, we can't ever know. I'm just in a position to appreciate that particularly intensely.

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