I'm sitting in the clinic right now, using my computer because it is my long day where I get two hours of Pamidronate in addition to my weekly Herceptin and Navelbine, so it's worthwhile to check my email and use my DVD player. I am in a bed, and the chair beside me is empty, so it's a pretty good situation. The first bed they put me in was broken so the head and foot wouldn't move up or down, and I think you will all agree with me when I say that being able to play with the bed is a significant part of the charm. Anyway, they brought me three pillows to lean against, a couple warm blankets, and put me on the list for a better bed.
Then my nurse brought me a copy of my labs and suddenly the moderate improvement of a moveable bed to my situation became much less important, because my tumor markers had dropped EIGHT POINTS.
That's right—I went from 50 all the way down to 42, which is practically normal.
I am obviously very happy about this, and I have to say, I am also very happy that I reminded myself (allowed myself to be reminded by the Universe?) that I need to enjoy the here and now. I felt great in Austin four weeks ago, and have been feeling great ever since, even through this cold. Even though my first reactions about my markers a month ago were significant disappointment that they hadn't gone down, I pretty quickly, and pretty successfully, derailed that train of thought.
Maybe I am learning something from all this, after all.
note--just to clarify: I got that news, and then ALSO a better, working bed.