Friday, June 27, 2008


For some reason, today I have really understood the meaning of "fatigue," when the nurses ask you, on a scale of 1 to 10, how yours is. Today mine has been a 10. I understand very well now that it hasn't been before. I'm not sure why it is today—I had an infusion yesterday, yes, but it was my 5th so I wasn't really prepared for a reaction like this. I did take an extra Benadryl before bed last night, because I wasn't sure I'd be able to sleep because my throat was feeling dry and scratchy, but has that really carried over into today? I also made sure to dose myself well (not over-well, I thought, but reasonably well) with anti-constipation aids, and maybe that's part of my problem, because I did seem to dose myself over-well. Oops.

I have mostly been staying in bed today, which is one of the signs that I'm SO TIRED. Another is that I've actually taken 2 or 3 1-hour naps. Here are a couple other signs—I have been thirsty and unable to nap too long because my throat just gets dry, but I've had to make a concerted effort of will to even go into the kitchen and fill my water bottle. And then, when the water really wasn't seeming to keep my mouth moistened, and I thought of pear juice and fizzy water, I thought but the pear juice is behind two other juices in the fridge on the bottom shelf, and I'd have to get a glass and a straw from two other places, and all that work was almost too much for me to handle (but I did, and it was tasty).

And food today has been the not-terribly-nutritious but very simple graham crackers and milk, and yoghurt-covered almonds.

And now I'm going back to bed.

Addendum: Ian pointed out that Dr. Specht hoped, at the beginning, that the cancer would start to respond to the chemo quicker than my body would respond to the chemo--that is, that I would start to feel physically better, lung-wise, before the build-up of drugs caused me to feel physically worse, whole body-wise. Today is probably an example of those two aspects coming together.

No comments: